just kidding
I talked to my therapist and snapped out of it. She said people like him are addicted to the thrill of cheating/ensnaring people. While I initially felt stupid for being manipulated, it's not unreasonable to trust people and expect the same in return. What I really need to work on is trusting my intuition even in cases that are difficult (or impossible) to verify since I've been conditioned to dismiss my feelings.
I won't let an insecure little man's deceit stop me from showing my whole self to those whom I trust. The real work will be to bounce when I'm suspicious instead of sticking around to play detective.
While I wish I never met him, I'm grateful that things didn't go on longer than they did. It's bizarre because I believe we really did have moments of vulnerability. I think he's just fucked up and able to compartmentalize the mountain of bullshit comprising his second secret life.