everything is embarrassing
I’m an anxious and relentlessly creative person, which means I’m embarrassed a lot. I wish that people didn’t romanticize the term “creative,” because when I say “relentlessly creative,” I mean this to be a statement of fact rather than a flex or celebration. I am creating lots of things and most of them are whatever. Bad art can be therapeutic, bad art is art too.
My current struggle is that I haven’t been writing as much as I want to. I was inspired to write something… anything… after reading the pull quote in a New York Times Magazine profile of “compulsive poster” Matt Farley: “If you reject your own ideas, then the part of the brain that comes up with ideas is going to stop. You just do it and do it and do it, and you sort it out later.” I don’t feel that I’m a great writer at present, so I am following Farley’s advice and embarrassing myself online. I know that I used to be proud of my writing when I was doing a lot of it. I know that I am capable of reaching that point again. I will be less embarrassed in the future, maybe after writing 10 more posts and deleting this one.